Remember all that nice stuff I said about how it was good to get forced back in the office manager role since my real office manager was out? Yeah.

It has now been 3 full weeks that she has been gone and I. Am. Done. Her recovery is taking a lot longer than she anticipated, and so for the past three weeks I have been hitting the clinic by 7:30am, sprinting for a pretty full 8-9 hours, and then leaving SOMETHING undone as I rush home to spend a lowsy hour or so with my boys before I fall asleep on the couch.  I am exhausted.

Even though I like the practice management of my life, and I really, really, do, I feel like I’m doing two full-time jobs. It is hard, perhaps impossible, to balance both, and so my clients aren’t getting the attention that I am used to giving, and the practice doesn’t run as smoothly as I am used to.  Having to figure out the monthly big pet food order when you just got some labs back showing that a favorite patient’s cancer has returned just doesn’t work as well as I when I can focus on one or the other.

Worse yet is how bad I am at balancing all of work with all of home.  About half of the time I leave for work before my boy gets out of bed and get home about an hour before bedtime. I hate that.  Sometimes I can at least get him up and dressed and have breakfast with him. And day care days of course I get to hang out with him for an extra hour in the car that day, which actually makes a big difference. But I am missing a lot.

I’ve long thought that I wasn’t cut out for being a full-time, stay-at-home mom.  I think that I would lose my mind, especially living out here in the middle of nowhere, where I’d really have to go out of my way to be social and adventurous. But now I know that I’m also not cut out for being a full-time working momma.  This experience has at least let me realize how freaking lucky I am, with my part-time full-time career. Now just to get back to that balance!!


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