it’s like 2nd year all over again, but 100% different

I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed lately.

There’s a wedding to plan (just over a month away)! And along with the wedding comes a rehearsal dinner (at which there will be no actual rehearsing), and then later, a reception back here in Iowa; after the wedding and reception in Maine.

There’s a condo to sell. And if it doesn’t sell, then I have to rent it out. And there’s the stress with figuring out where my breaking point is – what dollar amount will convince me to rent rather than sell. Or sell rather than rent. Either way, I have to be in Boston towards the latter half of August to make sure it’s clean once my current tenants vacate; if I have to find new tenants that could be a longer trip than if I don’t. So not knowing is making planning obviously difficult.

I’m still moving. We got a truckload of the bigger stuff this weekend from my apartment, and now there is a truckload of bigger stuff sitting in a heap in the dining room. It’s messy. It’s ALWAYS messy. And there is still another truckload and a good day of cleaning that is waiting for me, and must be completed before next Friday.

And then there’s the Next Big Thing, which overshadows all of the other stuff, because if it comes through (and, YAY, it does appear that it’s going to work out, should know for real for real in the next week or so) it will be more work than a thousand stupid weddings; the kind of work that if I start now and work 18 hours a day, it will be done…never. And to boot it is the kind of risk that, if it fails, it would not destroy me exactly, but it would be really, really bad, personally and professionally and financially. And I’m okay with that, I really am, I have confidence that it is the right thing to do and that it will succeed, but still I’m at a point now where I have almost no idea what I’m doing, but I’m going through the motions in a most convincing manner such that I think one of these days it will be more than an act; I will actually be really really good. But that day is quite far away.

I’m taking deep breaths, and trying to take it in stride. Mostly failing, but I’m trying. Now that I’ve ranted appropriately, back to my to-do list.

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