back in the angsty saddle

I’m back in the swing of things at school (on small animal Internal Medicine) and my last two-week vacation has ended. I only have one more week of vacation left, which totally serves me right for taking so much time earlier in the year (not that I regret that in the least).

Today was a slow day, which I appreciated as the first day back after vacation always seems to wear me out consistently. But we got a 3-hour lunch break and were done by 5 so I couldn’t be more lucky in that regards. The week will be picking up, though with pending transfers, appointments and consults.

My head has been swimming, doing acrobatics, power-cycling, etc., lately over the thoughts of impending graduation, job searching, life decisions, board results, etc. I’d love to blog about it all, but since I can’t organize my thoughts in my own head, putting them to paper will be unnecessarily difficult.

At least I can say that after a good conversation with my rotation-mates today (I have a kick-ass group, thankfully), I can certainly appreciate that I am not alone. It’s not JUST finding a job – we’re like prisoners being released into the real world and we have to figure out how to make our whole lives work.

I wonder if its particularly troublesome for me and other non-traditionals, because, unlike your typical vet student who has come straight from college straight from high school,  I have done this whole build-a-life thing before – I graduated from college, moved, found a job, etc. And now, having to do it all again, perhaps there is a fear that this time…maybe I’ll screw it all up? Maybe I’ll make the wrong decisions, maybe it’ll be worse, and this will all have been a mistake? Oopsie.

Fear not if you think I’m not making sense – I’m sure I’m not, but I can’t really help it. I’m off to the gym in the hopes that increased cerebral blood flow might clear things up. If that fails though, my faith in the healing powers of time persists.

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